For Couples

Are any of these familiar?

  • Are you having problems with communication in your relationship? Is it difficult for you and your partner to discuss issues without blaming, yelling or name-calling?
  • Are you arguing over the same issues over and over?
  • Are you anxious or stressed about a new or ongoing family issue?
  • Has one (or both of you) been involved in an affair? Are there other trust issues within your marriage?
  • Do you feel like you’re living separate lives or are even contemplating divorce?
  • Is substance abuse a problem?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, it may be time for you to speak with me. 
Much research has been done in the last thirty-five years with regard to enhancing the success of relationships. Many marriages seem to go through three different stages. The first stage could be called the Honeymoon Stage - couples fall in love and life together feels blissful. In the second stage, “the narrows”, or the power struggle, the relationship enters a more challenging phase, at which time many couples seek counseling. Crucial to getting to the next stage, which is less oppositional and more satisfying, is for each individual to be able to meet his/her needs rather than demanding their partner meet their needs. The relationship can then operate more as a team, not as opposing parties.

I enjoy working with couples that want to improve their relationship. As your marriage therapist, it is my goal to:
  • Create a safe environment so both of you can communicate more effectively, especially with the tough conversations involving anger and conflict.
  • To make sure that old scripts from childhood, or previous relationships, are not subconsciously being played out in your current relationships.
  • Improve your friendship so you can support each other’s hopes and dreams.
  • Encourage you to design a vision of the relationship that both of you want so I can coach you to achieve that vision.
  • Enhance the emotional connection between you so that you feel your partner consistently “has your back.”

What to Expect

The Process
The initial session is focused on becoming acquainted with you and learning what brought you to therapy. It’s important if a couple, or individual, is in a crisis that I immediately assess safety issues and come up with a plan of action. Many couples or individuals come in to see me to change chronic issues such as communication issues, financial problems, fidelity issues, in-law conflicts, substance abuse, and physical compatibility.  

A starting place is to have the couple describe how they want their relationship to be different. I discuss what their vision is of their relationship. We want to focus on what is already working as well as the obstacles between them and a healthier way of relating. I am confident that new skills will help their relationship improve, especially if they are able to bring hope and positive energy to the process.

Subsequent sessions may focus specifically on communication issues with an emphasis on discussing difficult emotions such as anger and vulnerability in a non-threatening manner. Often a session will tease out the difference in each partners’ background and how these differences may be subconsciously at play in the present.

I use the research of John and Julie Gottman (whom I believe are the best researchers on marriage in the world) to guide my work. The Gottmans' point to a solid friendship as a big determinant of a long lasting and satisfying relationship. This allows each person to support their partner’s hopes and dreams.
Resources
As part of your collaboration with me I will provide you with exercises and resources, including books, websites, etc. I have a wealth of resources to draw on. 
What if I can't meet your needs?
If for some reason I cannot help you, or if I think another professional would better serve you, I will refer you to them. I have an extensive list of contacts and referrals.   

Specialties & Services

ADD/ADHD



Addiction (Most Types)



Adjustment Disorders



Adjustment to changes in life



Aging Parents



Anger Issues (Yours or Others)



Anxiety and/or Panic Attacks



Attachment (such as empty nest syndrome)



Balancing Commitments



Boundary Issues



Business or Employment Issues



Changing Family Roles



Chronic Illness (Self or Family)

Codependent Behaviors



Communication Issues



Conflict Resolution



Coping Skills



Crime Victim



Depression



Families & In-Laws



Fear



Finances



Gambling



Gender Identity Issues



Impulsive Behavior



Infertility

Infidelity and Healing (Dealing with)



Life Coaching



Loneliness and Isolation



Loss and Grief



Loss Of Confidence



Men’s Issues



Moral Dilemmas



Non-Married Couple Issues



Obsessive Behavior



Peer Relationship



Premarital Counseling



PTSD



Relationship and Marriage Issues

Relationship Skills & Enhancement



Relocation



Sadness



Self Esteem Issues



Separation and Divorce Issues



Sex & Intimacy



Sleep Issues



Stress



Substance Abuse



Suicidal Ideation



Time and Resource Management



Trauma (Relationship, Injury, Sex Abuse)




Women’s Issues